


a swan still has ugly teeth

by katsukiy



Series: tumblr prompts [3]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, Yuuri still loves him, there are secrets the media mustn't know, viktor being his embarrassing self - Freeform, viktor is graceful as a majestic swan but also not, yuuri knows all about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-30 06:57:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10871466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katsukiy/pseuds/katsukiy
Summary: Viktor Nikiforov is a majestic creature, bound to be remembered by humanity as the ray of light that guides wanderers home in a hopeless tempest, the pole star of humans, he’s sogoddamn pretty.Until he isn’t.





	a swan still has ugly teeth

**Author's Note:**

> For the tumblr prompt: If I may, I'd like a funny text about how Viktor Nikiforov is like a gracious majestic swan 24/7 but sometimes he just kinda SLAV SQUATS AND FUCKING-- YOU KNOW. HES KINDA NOT GRACIOUS ANYMORE??

Viktor Nikiforov has won more titles than he cares to count. He’s starred on magazine spreads, photoshoots, has posed for a thousand posters, he’s been in commercials of everything, from perfumes to toothpaste, and terrible, horrible merch has been made of him. But most importantly, he looked  _amazing_ in everyone of them.  
Yuuri should know, since he zealously collected that same merch and watched every video obsessively for most of his teens.

You know when they say “never meet your hero”? Yuuri always dismissed it. Because _boy_ , did he want to meet Viktor. Did he want some shojo glittery fantasy in which Viktor fell in love with him at first sight and they lived happily ever after until they grew older and died together peacefully in their sleep. Honestly, he’s still finding his current life a little too hard to believe, because it seems like it’s sticking to that plan, and how the hell did he manage it?

Let’s not go off topic. Viktor is the hero, in this story, and yes, he’s not _exactly_ like Yuuri had pictured him: he’s whiny, and picky, and terrible at small talk; he folds his socks wrong, gets naked way too often in weird situations, and his coffee tastes like dirty water.

But you know how you’re sure that photoshop must be heavily involved when posters of your favorite actor come out? Or that a make up goddess descended on them for that magazine spread to look that good? Scratch that. Viktor Nikiforov is a _deity_. An adonis, sculpted from the finest marble, cheekbones that could cut a wall and abs you could wash your laundry on. He doesn’t follow human rules: everything that you’d call an imperfection actually makes him stronger.

Scarily enough, that’s not the end of it: Viktor is also what you’d call _camera ready_. Is it a natural talent, did he sell his soul, are there classes online? Either way, you could snap a photo of him sneezing and it’d come out prettier than the last two hundred selfies (with good lighting and your best angle) on your camera roll.

His movements are a flourish of beauty, and when he walks into a room, he’s actually _waltzing_. He has a control on even the finest movement of his muscles that morph his every gesture into a work of anatomical art. Doctors and artists alike swoons at his passage.

What I mean to say is, Viktor Nikiforov is a majestic creature, bound to be remembered by humanity as the ray of light that guides wanderers home in a hopeless tempest, the pole star of humans, he’s so _goddamn pretty_.

Until he isn’t.

Yuuri was there.

Yuuri is, admittedly, there on every instance. He’s there when Viktor hits his face on a too clean glass door and they have to go to the hospital (“Yuuri, will you still love me when my nose is no longer straight and beautiful?” he whimpers, wincing right after because it hurts, as Yuuri pats him gently on the arm and sighs); he’s there when Viktor chokes on his banana yogurt and claims days after to still taste it in his throat, subsequently refusing to eat yogurt _or_ bananas for a month; once, Viktor sprays juice all over the couch because he didn’t want to sit up to drink it; another time, they lose the remote and Viktor literally slav squats to look for it under the couch (Makkachin hid it into his prized stash of stolen things, and they finally find again the pink lace panties, too); he insists on putting his socks on standing up, which frankly looks ridiculous, and come spring it’s a choice between a stuffy nose plus puffy eyes combo and being high on antihistamines, which make him more likely to fall on a flat pavement by ninety percent.

Yuuri has seen him trip on his feet more than once, has the privilege of waking up to his messy bed head every day, and Viktor snores, and drools in his sleep. He has ridiculous habits, he puts _jam_ into his tea, for crying out loud.  
Even if he apparently doesn’t have unflattering angles on camera (Yura tried to catch him off guard, once, to no avail), he knows Viktor Nikiforov is still unflatteringly _human_ , and he loves him all the more for it. Even if Yakov made him promise not to tell anyone about the slav squatting, which apparently happens more often than it should.

  
So when an interviewer sticks a microphone in his face and asks “How does it feel being engaged to a sex symbol the caliber of Viktor Nikiforov?” Yuuri thinks about that time Viktor was so excited to show him a dog video that he ran directly into a chair, fell, scrambled up just to hit his head on the table and then cried, smiles and replies “Oh, you know, it’s- really something.”

**Author's Note:**

> #i bet yuuri still has that dior commercial video with naked and oiled viktor in the bookmarks and sometimes shamefully rewatches it#viktor catches him once and demands to be oiled up by yuuri#it's one of the hottest and most embarrassing things ever  
> Find me on [tumblr](http://yuriplisetsk.tumblr.com) where I post questionable fics and scream @yoi.  
> 


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